In a word, yes, we create our own drama.
More often than not, we do this during peaceful, calm stages in life.
Boredom. Addiction to excitement. Restlessness. Letting the EGO dictate our lives.
It’s almost as if we strive for peace and happiness, yet when we’re living it, it’s not enough. Our egos are so used to the inflation received during periods of drama – proving that we’re right, controlling people or situations, feeling justified in playing the victim to get attention. This is because we’ve unleashed the ego to operate under direct influence of external events, rather than directing it via the world within, better known as our higher-selves.
The best way to become aware of an ‘ego drama in the making’, is to recognise and acknowledge it, like a pet, the moment it starts scratching at the door – don’t wait until it’s barking and whimpering and ripping up all your furniture, to reign it in.
How do we do this?
Firstly, always remember that your ego is only a tool. It’s there for you to utilise, to perform practical tasks. Awareness is nothing more than being conscious of this fact, therefore enabling you to detach from pre-programmed thoughts and emotions so you can observe your actions. Once you can observe your actions, in the present moment as they occur, you’re able to respond from your higher self, rather than react from false, ego based emotions.
Ego based emotions and thoughts are not original, you’ve picked them up from someone else, at some stage during your life. You definitely don’t want these thoughts making decisions for you!
Secondly, remember the ‘ifs’.
There are times in life when we wake up, each and every morning, happy and refreshed, only to be floored by an ‘if’. The ‘if’s have varying degrees of impact. ‘If’ someone you love is slowly dying due to illness, each morning your happiness feels like it’s stolen the moment you remember. ‘If’ you are in the middle of a break-up, you feel sick in the stomach the minute you open your eyes. ‘If’ job loss is looming or you really hate where you’re living or who you’re living with, that beautiful feeling in the morning of ‘a new day’, soon gives way to ‘a new day’ of the same worrying about the ‘if’.
At least the ‘ifs’ keep the drama loving ego at bay, to an extent, because we’re forced to face the challenge of the ‘ifs’ and learn lessons from them. Another article is needed to discuss how to deal with the ‘ifs’, while keeping the ego in check – what we want to focus on here, is the times where there are no big ‘ifs’.
The times when no one is sick, you have enough money to eat and live somewhere you like, you have happy relationships, good friends etc. All your fundamental needs are met. Here’s where the term ‘First World Issues’ (which actually applies to anything other than food/water/shelter) really comes into its own.
If you compare the issue of a poverty-stricken person, “I need water,” against anything in the ‘first’ world that we initially choose to become involved in, then choose to become miserable with, then choose to perhaps inflict on others in some way – quite simply, words can’t even describe the ridiculousness of how we allow our egos to control us and the arrogance of what we concern ourselves with.
It would almost be funny if it didn’t cause so much suffering.
An example of our choices causing drama and challenge (as opposed to a situation like someone we love dying), is repeated relationship mistakes. Such as, women who return over and over again to violent men, because they’ve become addicted to the very drama they’ve tried so very hard to overcome. Facing peace, stability and self-contemplation upon leaving such relationships, their ego fights against the change and the opportunity for growth, dragging them back into the pit of despair they’re used to – and addicted to.
If you’re not aware that you’re not your ego, you will allow yourself to be dragged around by it, over and over again.
An example at the other extreme: let’s use the term ‘couch’, however you can use any material object in its place: You start noticing stains on the couch that won’t come out, the material’s ripped, it’s old, it’s had it. Relatives are coming to stay for the holidays and suddenly you can’t possibly cope with the ugly stains on the couch. You need a new couch. You obsess over finding couches, talking about couches, spending all weekend in shopping centres looking at couches. The decisions become numerous – colours, styles, prices. Then the couch you want doesn’t match the carpet, or the blinds, and maybe you just need a whole new lounge room. Then you fight with your partner because he/she doesn’t want to spend as much money as you…and on it goes.
In this example, in the absence of ‘Ifs’ or challenges, you’ve chosen to obsess about an ego related purpose, rather than spend the time creating or learning or resting or exploring or just peacefully loving everything. There are so many ego related purposes that can take prime position in a calm, peaceful mind, because of addiction to self-made drama; like petty judgement to create fights with friends and family, excessive concentration on how you, or someone else looks, over-expectation and feelings of entitlement rather than gratitude, obsession with material gain.
If you relate to this, and at times we all do, it means your ego is quickly bored by peace. Irritated by calmness. Frustrated with stillness – because you’ve trained it to be so, by constant worrying and fear based thoughts. Who really wants to be obsessing and arguing over furniture and money and stains and what the relatives will think, for weeks on end? This is the drama you create for yourself, stemming from one simple fact; you need a new couch, so just get a new couch.
The ego is very clever at making mountains out of mole-hills, it is, in fact, the egos favourite sport.
We have to take the opportunity, in the absence of the big ‘ifs’, to train our egos to enjoy peace, to love calmness, to embrace stillness. Out of this comes creativity, synchronicity with the universe and endless opportunities to occupy the ego in a way that aligns with our evolvement and makes us happy.
Once we do that, when we are faced with ‘ifs’ and challenges, we’re much more equipped to deal with them in body, mind and spirit.
And, one of the big challenges we all have in common is learning how to recognise, then direct, our egos. Once you kick this challenge you’ll notice space opening up in your mind. This space is already filled with love and bliss, it was the minute you were born. However, it became crowded and blocked by other people’s rubbish – rubbish that then formed much of your ego.
Dramas directed by a confused, unoriginal, rubbish contaminated ego are unnecessary and lead only to suffering. Besides, you’re already in a drama, and it’s a huge blockbuster! There’re billions of people in it, oceans, mountains, animals, art, architecture, inventions, fire, music, rainbows, stars, planets, universes…chocolate!
Plus, if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you have clean drinking water too…
Each time your mind turns to worry or fear, in the absence of an ‘if’, you are not dealing with a life challenge, you are dealing with a self-made drama, and manifesting suffering the more you focus on it. Your only lesson is to stop, become aware and observe your actions.
Without self-made dramas, life floats to the tune of the universe, and it’s this tune that miracles and magic are made of.
I really enjoyed this as it resonated with me completely. You write in a beautiful and peaceful way, to the point where I really can feel you believe what you are saying, you practice it and you live it. Thank you for writing something that touched me, completely.